Pig and Tara!

Well hello there! Long time no see :)

Well, as I'm sure you know, we're havin' a baby in just about a month! The whole experience of being pregnant has been wild and crazy, but we're just about there :) I figured that since our sweet little one will be here so soon, that now was a good time to start blogging about my experience ;) Nothing beats waiting 'til the last minute, eh?! Haha. I've been keeping a personal journal on my phone throughout my pregnancy and have also been taking pictures, so these posts are just going to be a combination of those two things, that I will (someday) be able to put into a journal book with the rest of the amazing experiences that Brig and I have had since we've been married. Just a heads up, some of these posts may be TMI, so, I guess if that is a problem for you, don't read them :) This post will cover weeks 1(ish) - Week 20 :)

February 3, 2013 - 5 weeks

What the?!....

Woohoo! Took a positive pregnancy test on February 3rd, 2013 (Super Bowl Sunday - who could ask for more?!)

February 4, 2013 - 5 weeks

Well, I'm pregnant! Holy smokes. What a weird feeling! It still hasn't really sunk in yet. Looks like from now until forever, every second of every day will be spent thinking about this little miracle that is growing inside of me :) I definitely do not feel worthy of such an amazing blessing.

I went off birth control toward the end of August in 2012. My first cycle lasted 42 days, yikes! I hadn't had my period when I thought I would and thought that I could be pregnant. I took a couple tests that of course came out negative. I was a lot more discouraged than I thought I'd be. I didn't expect for it to happen that fast, but when my period didn't come for so long, I started to hope. Anyway, we pressed forward and things were fine. Until the second cycle put the first to shame as it lasted 49 days! Torture. Seriously. The third cycle went down to 33 though, so I was very grateful to be getting back to normal. So 3 periods in 4 months and no baby. Before we started trying, I really expected it to take anywhere from 6 months to a year. That didn't seem like very long at the time, but now I know, it is a LONG time. Way too long! Luckily for me, month 5 was the lucky number! Which is fitting, since its my favorite number ;)

Tuesday the 29th of January marked 14 days since I had been close to ovulating. I hadn't had my period yet so I decided I would wait until Saturday to see what things looked like before I took a test. I bought the test Saturday and took it Sunday morning the 3rd of February. I was pretty sure I was pregnant, (because I was late, I bawled while listening to the Les Mis soundtrack a few days before, and Brig and I had watched a movie Saturday that got to me more than a movie like that usually would have) but I just was still so nervous to take the test. Boy, did I ever not need to have worried! That thing lit up to show I was pregnant almost immediately! I still can't really believe it. Brig was still sleeping, so I took the test to bed, woke him up and said, "Well, we're havin' a baby!" And he rolled over and said, "Wow!" And then fell back asleep :) boys :)

Later in the day when we actually had a chance to talk more, he said, "So what kind of baby is it?... for $9 that thing should tell you!" Haha. Such a joker ;)

The day I found out also happened to be Superbowl Sunday, which meant that my whole family was going to be at my parents. I couldn't decide if we should tell everyone or not, since I thought it would be fun to tell everyone together, but I decided against it. I think we'll wait until at least my first appointment. Also good news, my Ravens won the SB! So double good news for the day :)

Luckily I know that Brig really is excited. I'm nervous and excited and still feeling like this is all surreal. So far things have been fine. I've been a teeny tiny bit nauseous off and on, just since yesterday, but I kind of think it might be psychological ;) I have also experienced some really minor cramping which made me nervous, but apparently its nothing to be nervous about as long as its not really severe and I'm not bleeding.

I go in for my first appointment where they will confirm that I'm pregnant on Feb 19 and then I'll meet with Dr. Kirkman on March 11th :) I should be due the first week in October!!! So crazy.

This is a wild and crazy and nerve wracking experience, but I can't wait :) I just pray that my body will be a good, nurturing place for this baby to grow, and that when the time comes it will be delivered healthy and happy :) I love him/her already :)

February 20, 2013 - 7 weeks

Had my first Doctor's visit yesterday. Also had my first puking experience. What a day!

The doctor's was fine. I met with a nurse and while I could tell she was a very nice person, I didn't really enjoy the visit. I guess I just expected it to be a lot different. But I'm sure things will be better when I actually get to meet with Dr. Kirkman on March 11th :) Too far away! Can't wait for the ultrasound :)

Lately I've been a lot more nauseous. And tired. I'm starting to regret not taking advantage of that first week when I felt so good! I'm officially 7.5 weeks and my due date is October 6th :) Also way too far away!

I'm particularly sick in the morning. Brig bought some horrible tasting toothpaste, which is what caused the puking incident yesterday. Seriously, so gross. But I did learn, its worth it to throw up because at least then I felt better. Trying not to only makes me feel worse. This morning was good though. I forced myself to eat some breakfast first thing, and even though that was pretty tough, I felt much better in the long run.

No real news other than that. Hopefully I'll have more to talk about in 3 weeks :)

February 26, 2013 - 8 weeks

Yeah... nothing yet :) This is the week we told our parents. I don't know why I didn't record it in my journal. We told my mom and dad by secretly hiding some pictures in with some family pictures that I was showing them on the computer. My mom screamed and my dad just had a huge smile on his face. It was super fun :) We told Brig's parents just by sneaking it into a casual conversation. It was really funny to see their reactions :) Definitely caught them by surprise! So much fun! And they all did great keeping it a secret until we decided to tell everyone else ;)

March 18, 2013 - 10 weeks

Yesterday was a big day! Had my first appointment with Dr. Kirkman and it couldn't have gone better! From the minute he walked in I could tell that I was going to be really comfortable with him. He has such a kind and calming presence. I left this appointment feeling MUCH better than the last one.

The best part of the appointment was definitely the ultrasound! We got to see our little babe for the very first time. It really was indescribable. All day the only thing I could really think about was how weird it all is! Haha. The baby was moving around a ton! Dr. Kirkman said that everything was looking good, and I measured pretty much right where we thought I was (10 weeks and 2 days). I really just felt so calm and at peace. It was amazing. I can't stop looking at the pictures. It is so crazy to think that I have an actual living being moving all around inside of me, and that I can't even feel it! Still pretty surreal :)

As far as how I'm feeling goes... last week was actually really good until about Sunday. I hadn't been quite as nauseous, but was probably a little more tired. Sunday I felt like crap again. Yesterday and today weren't so great either. I wonder what happened. Hmm. But I'm getting good sleep, so that is good. I have been having headaches more and more, but they're not real severe. Dr. K gave me a bunch of samples of prenatal vitamins, which makes me feel good, since I was just taking an over the counter.

I love cereal. I haven't really not been able to eat anything except pickles. For some reason, the thought of them makes me want to barf. I am also doing really well at getting all the pb&js I can eat ;)

This pregnancy is already taking way too long, but all in all, things are great :) And I couldn't be happier! Can't wait to meet our little piglet!

Maybe a little bigger???... Yeah, not really :)

March 18, 2013 - 11 Weeks

Well... everyone knows! Meaning all the siblings. Pretty crazy that I'm to that point :) I told Dustin and Heather when I saw them last Saturday. I whispered in Kade's ear at dinner and he gasped and his mouth opened real wide. Then I had him tell D & H. It was super cute. I did the same thing the next day, with Libby, to tell Casey, Katie, and Christian. Then I had to wait to tell Bretton before our game the next Wednesday. Then Christian blew it on the way down, so our friend Jesse found out :) haha. Then I told Nicole after the game. Brig told his family all via picture message. They were all super excited and nice :). It was suggested that I film brigs first diaper change. Definitely will have to do that ;)
I was able to call Candice yesterday. Luckily they were still up. Our families are all very excited and it's so nice to be able to just talk about it and to know that I can ask questions! I also told Becca since it was her birthday. I think she was more excited than anyone ;). Our babies will be about 3 months apart, which is super fun. Brig also told Jer today.
I had my first pregnancy meltdown last Friday. I was home from work, and it had been kind of a rotten day, so I was already exhausted. I wanted to clean my house Friday, because I wasn't going to have to work Saturday, and we didn't have anything going on for the first time in seriously months! I was sooooo looking forward to not doing ANYTHING Saturday. Anyway, so I'm cleaning my house and I'm tired and not feeling well and I just got really overwhelmed. I have had zero desire to clean the past 11 weeks, so there was a ton to do. Then, Brig came home and said just about the worst thing I could have imagined. There was going to be a party for his niece down in Provo on Saturday. And I LOST it! I literally screamed "NOOOOO!!!!" And broke down in sobs. I just didn't feel like I could handle it. I LOVE Brigs family, and it was not at all that I didn't want to be there. I just physically and emotionally couldn't take one more thing at that moment. It's pretty hilarious to think about it now. Brig was sweet and told me I could stay home, but I went down and I survived and of course was so glad we went.
Just some thoughts: How ironic is it that you are sick for 13 weeks, but you can't tell anyone who isn't close to you that you're pregnant? And then by the time you feel like you can tell people, you feel fine! One of life's great mysteries.
I'm terrible at getting enough fluids. Always have been, but it's been hard to drink water. I've been trying other things like juices, and of course I'm still getting plenty of milk with my cereal ;)
I hate vegetables. I'm doing better at eating fruit, and not going to candy to make me feel better. Crackers aren't doing it for me. They usually just make me feel worse. But not chips of course ;)
I have to eat all the time. I feel so fat already. Bloated and fat and uncomfortable. Not sure how I'm going to survive for 29 more weeks.
Mashed potatoes sound good all the time. I may have to break my no KFC rule tomorrow to get some (haven't been there in 4.5 yrs because I refuse). Or I could just make them, but chances are I'll be too tired.
Brig says it seems that I'm either feeling better than I was, or that I'm just handling it better. I don't know for sure, but its probably a combination of both. I think I'm kind of getting used to feeling crappy. Maybe.
I'm getting sad thinking about soccer ending. I'm not ready to give it up. And it probably wouldn't be so bad except that if we end up moving, I probably wont ever get to play with my family again. That's the worst part. I love them and I really enjoy playing with them. Guess we'll just have to see what happens!
It's hard to give things up, but I know its worth it. I am finally kind of starting to feel like this is real. I am excited and absolutely terrified all at once. But I know this baby will be such a blessing to us, through the good times and not so good times.
Oh yeah, and I think its a boy ;)

March 24, 2013 - 12 weeks

Teeny tiny bit of progress :) Noticeable to me anyway.

April 2, 2013 - 13 weeks

I am getting fat. That's really all I have to say. I'm afraid I'm gaining weight too rapidly. I feel like I gained 3-4 lbs right away and then didn't gain anything at all until a few days ago when I all of a sudden exploded. It's fairly discouraging. And hard. I don't feel like myself. It's probably because I stopped playing as much soccer. I know I need to exercise, but I hate it. I guess this begins the whole, not quite pregnant looking, just fat, stage. Ugh.

But on the other hand. I'm grateful that baby is doing well. And considering my life, I am so grateful for the chance I have to even have a child. 6 more months! :)

April 3, 2013 - 13 weeks #2

Played in my last soccer game tonight. Yep, 4 minutes of glory :) Ha! I scored and then came right out and didn't go in the rest of the game. It felt really good to end on a good note. I really am very grateful and happy that it happened that way. Even better, it was the championship game and we won! Woohoo! I really wanted to feel like I contributed, so that's why I decided to just play a few minutes and be done. The goal was just a bonus ;)

It is really hard giving up soccer, even though I know its not forever. It's been way harder than I thought it would be. But I know its time, and I really am at peace with it. I am grateful that I could play as long as I did and that no harm came to my sweet baby. So grateful to be where I'm at. My next Dr. appointment is in one week from today. Excited to see the progress :)

April 14, 2013 - 15 weeks

Last Wednesday I had my second appointment with Dr. K. It was a long wait, but well worth it. I was so happy hear my baby's heartbeat again :) Still seems pretty surreal.

Dr. K said that I'm putting weight on just fine. I was really worried that I'm getting too big too soon, but he said I'm not at all. That's reassuring :) I didn't get to talk to him for long, but the visit was great once again. Lucky to have him helping me!

Just started telling people outside of family last week and this week. Its been pretty fun :) I don't love all of the attention, but it is kind of starting to feel more real. I've got a nice, noticeable belly going on now, which is fun except I really can't fit into any of my pants. In fact, just today I tried to squeeze into my favorite pair and yeah, they totally ripped a massive hole right in the crotch. Yep. Awesome. I'm pretty sure it was more how I was putting them on, than not being able to fit into them, but still. I am seriously so bummed. I just wore them last week! Definitely time to go shopping.

I'm feeling pretty great other than feeling so fat. Not nearly as sick throughout the day, although I do still dry heave at times and mornings are kinda hard sometimes. In fact, I threw up for the second time just last week, which was so random. I had been awake for a long time and hadn't eaten. Guess I won't be testing that again!

I am getting very anxious to meet this little one, and I know I still have so far to go. I originally thought boy, but everyone else seems to think girl. Really not sure anymore. I really will be happy with whatever comes :). I've been thinking a lot about the role of women and how my role in my home will change once this little blessing is born. I may still be working, I may not. I really just don't know that yet. But either way, my life and role will change, and while I know it will be hard, I am incredibly grateful for the chance. I know being a mother is the greatest blessing that I could have. I know Brig will be a great dad too :) Even if it does take some time for him to get used to ;)

Love this baby so much. We get to find out the gender on May 8th! Super excited!!!

Little belly :)

April 22, 2013 - 16 weeks

16 weeks! Seems like I've been pregnant forever and still have so much further to go! Its amazing to me that people can do this so many times. I really have had it pretty easy I think.

So the big news this week is that I'm a whale. Not really, but I feel like it. I've really only gained about 8lbs total, which is normal. Its just weird. My belly TOTALLY popped out this week. Like, last week I felt like I had a belly, but this week it's noticeable. Yeah, people are commenting. The good news is it seems to be growing mostly outward so its kinda cute. I am glad that I can just embrace it :) I can't fit comfortably into almost any of my pants anymore and I know I will be more comfortable overall when I can get some new clothes.

I guess between now and a few weeks from now I should be able to feel the baby! I really can't wait for that. I think it will help it to feel more real, and calm some of my anxieties. Or maybe I'll have more anxiety when the reality sets in :) Still not sure :)

I went through some baby clothes of Candice's yesterday and got a little overwhelmed. I hope I can do this! One thing is for sure, there will be a lot of prayer involved!

Random fact: This week I have been loving orange juice, and it seems to help me feel better if I'm feeling yucky. Fruit also sounds good all the time.

I guess that's it for today! Hopefully I'm writing down everything I should. Who knows?!

April 24, 2013 - 16 weeks #2

Went running today for the first time since I stopped playing soccer. Yikes! I was careful not to get my heart rate up too high, and just ran one song and then walked one. Seemed like a pretty good compromise. I'm super out of shape too, so I was more than willing to take it easy ;)

Saw some adorable baby goats on the way and had to stop and take a picture. Not sure why that needs to go in my pregnancy journal, but there it is!

I feel like my belly is growing every single day! Its crazy! I also felt like my calves were bigger today, but that could have just been from being on my feet and running. Or I'm starting to retain water, which is lovely.

Also, another note about running. Before I left I was worried that my boobs would kill! I had done some jumping jacks and they hurt, so I assumed running would be the same. Well, turns out they were fine, but what I failed to think about was my bladder! Every time I would start running I felt like I was going to pee my pants! Definitely alarming. But I made it, so no worries ;) not sure how women do that throughout the whole pregnancy.

It was nice to get out and I hope I can keep it up! I'm sure my muscles will be screaming "no!" tomorrow.

April 27, 2013 - 17 weeks

Well, as of today, I officially own some real, actual maternity clothes! I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't able to get much, but at least its something. Crazy how expensive things are. Wore my new pants and shirt tonight, felt great. So nice to not have to worry about a button and zipper, haha!

Since I was shopping, I obviously walked around a lot. My legs are killing me. They got kind of swollen. I am worried about summer if this is happening already! Yikes.

Thought a lot these past couple of days about raising this little one (and future little ones). Thinking about the responsibility that I have is a little overwhelming, but I'm grateful for an amazing husband, awesome family, and a loving heavenly father who I know will be there. Always :)

May 8, 2013 - 18 weeks

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

And I am so excited :) Today was the big ultrasound and it couldn't have gone better. I have really been having some major anxiety over the last few days, not because I was worried about the gender, but because I worried that there was something wrong with our little girl.... (post continued a few days later)

Feelin' great! :)

May 13, 2013 - 19 weeks
(Continued from last post)

Well, got a little bit distracted after starting that last post. Continuing on now at 19 weeks :)

I was so relieved to see her and to find out that everything is looking just how it should for me and baby girl. She is measuring almost right on again - just one day off :) The ultrasound tech was very nice. She had a hard time finding out the gender at first because baby girl was crossing her legs :) The UT had to keep wiggling the camera thing to try and get the baby to change positions. Guess baby girl takes after her stubborn mommy already ;) Eventually she did move, and the UT was able to give us the verdict :) I was kind of surprised, but kind of not at the same time. Just mostly excited to see her wiggling and moving around and knowing she's growing properly and is healthy :) The ultrasound is so bizarre. Its just crazy to me that you can see so much. The UT showed us pretty much all of baby girls major organs, arms, legs, feet, face, etc. It was really interesting to catch the baby taking a drink of the amniotic fluid. Pretty crazy :)

My weight is still apparently on track. I have gained around 10 lbs so far which is good for being almost halfway there!

After the visit, Brig sent a text to all his family. It said, "A girl." Ha! That's just him :) Everyone was very excited and happy for us! I planned to wait to tell my family on Friday when we were all together in St. George. It was really hard to keep it a secret for even just two days! When we got there, we went to dinner and then back to the house we were staying at for the reveal. I videoed everyone before hand with their guesses of what they thought it was. Surprisingly, lots said boy, but we had a fair amount of girl guesses too. I gave my mom a present to open since it's mothers day weekend and inside it were super cute little girl pajamas :) Everyone was very excited! I told them that now someone else has to have a girl soon so that our little one has someone to play with!

All in all, it was a fun week. The girls at my work made a sign for my door that said "Congratulations Tara!" And had two different color question marks on it. It was really cute and thoughtful of them.

Back to the not so fun stuff: What's going on with me. Well, to put it bluntly, since last Wednesday (day of the ultrasound) I have had the worst cold I gave ever had in my life. Even Brig said he has never seen me this sick. It is totally miserable. I was still able to have a fun weekend with my family, but I really was suffering more than I think anyone knew. I never realized how much cold medicine really does help until now. Of course I can't take my beloved Nyquil :( All I can have is Mucinex and regular Tylenol. On the drive home yesterday I finally let my emotions take over and I bawled. I was in so much pain and misery. Luckily I was able to get plenty of sleep last night and I took a sick day off work today. Hopefully with one more good nights rest I will be on the uphill.

Last thing: to end on a good note ;) Before we found out that our baby is a girl we were kind of talking casually about names. I have 3 that I like and they are: Paige, Maya, and Aspen. I had kind of forgot about Aspen until recently. I told Brig about it and he said he liked it and that was kind of the end of it. Well, since finding out, Brig has informed me that he's not sure he can let that name go :) He talked more about our name ideas with his family, and just really started thinking about it and decided he loves it :) He also grew up on Aspen Drive, so he thought it would be kind of a fun way to tie the name to something personal. So we will see ;) I love the name, but I don't think I'll be able to 100% commit to anything until she is born. Just the way I am :)

So excited for this baby girl to get here! It was so fun shopping for her little outfit and I can't wait to buy her more things :) I am so grateful for the chance I have to be her mother. I had a great time celebrating my first unofficial mothers day yesterday and cant wait to celebrate many more!!!

May 22, 2013 - 20 weeks

Half way there! And I can hardly believe it! This little piglet will be here before we know it and I am in a panic already that I'm not going to be prepared. Soooo much to buy, so little money. I know it will all work out though.

I'm feeling our little girl move around quite a bit more frequently now which is wonderful :) I love that little reminder that she is there. Not that I'm not thinking about her literally 24 hrs/day anyway. Because I am. Which is so interesting. From day 1, no matter what I'm doing, this little babe is always there in the back of my mind, and a lot of the time in the front. Can't wait until she is here :)

I think that my instinct to nest is kicking in already. I am so anxious to start preparing her room! I wasn't sure if I was going to want to put a lot of time into it, since we don't know how long we'll be here, but I just have to do it. Can't help it :)

I am feeling really bad that I was so horrible at journaling through the first trimester. I am realizing now how sick and tired I really was. When I was going through it I just kept reminding myself of all the ways it could be worse and I would convince myself that I wasn't feeling that bad. But I was feeling pretty bad. Much worse than I let on I think. Feeling good again has reminded me of that. So I guess maybe the fact that I didn't write is as much of a testament to what was happening as writing would have been anyway.

Things are good now. I am getting bigger and bigger every day, and still think I'm larger than I should be, but I only gained about 10lbs the whole first half, so I think I'm really doing pretty ok. I definitely feel smaller in the mornings! By the end of the day I'm feeling pretty plump and I know its only going to get worse, especially with summer coming. I'm dreading it to be honest. Oh the sacrifices we make ;)

This whole not being able to sleep on my back thing really blows. I knew that finding ways to sleep comfortably would be the hardest challenge for me, and even though it hasn't been as rough as I thought (yet), it still sucks. I have good nights and bad nights. Hopefully these new pillows we got will help.

Still loving and wishing I could live off fruit. And cereal and pb&js. But that's pretty normal. Still having a really tough time getting enough water. I know I need to do better at that!

It really is crazy to think that I will be holding my baby in 20 weeks or less (hopefully!). I really can't wait. I still have a hard time sometimes feeling like this is all real. But I know the minute I see her face I'm going to be even more in love with her than I already am. And then... let the madness begin! ;)